In our spare time, Jennifer and I have pioneered a new, highly scientific, peer-reviewed metric for patient progress: the Tubal Extraction Quotient, or TEQ. To calculate TEQ, one takes the number of tubes inserted into the patient's body (presently 4) and divides them by the total number present immediately after surgery, ten in Jen's case. The lower the number, the greater the degree of patient progress. By this measure, Jennifer's TEQ is now down to 0.4, a marked improvement by any standard and the single patient in our comprehensive study has confirmed that patient spirits increase in direct response to decreased TEQ. Our findings will be laid out in a co-authored research paper and published in the February issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association but if you can't wait, abstracts are currently available online for $49.95.
The big victory today was getting her nasogastric, or NG tube removed. This bad boy goes in the nose, down the throat and into the stomach. Yeelch! Its purpose is to keep the digestive tract empty so everything can heal up, and with that out now Jen is feeling a whole lot better and we may actually be able to get out of here by sometime mid-week; we'll see how that develops as time goes on.
We were able to video chat with Em, Matt & Laura again this afternoon and it was great to stay caught up. Of course, it's not quite the same as being home, but from today's vantage point we think we can make out the light at the end of the tunnel. Here's wishing everyone a great week and hopefully we'll have news of plans to come home soon.
I am so glad that you are feeling better and will be coming home soon. You are just amazing!!! Loved the TEQ study. How true!! Keep up all the hard work.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Therese
We are interested in ordering the TEQ abstract on-line. Mostly we're just happy to hear that Jen's is going up...or is it going down?
ReplyDeleteGive a big video "hello" to Em, Matt and Laura from us. It's all that we can do to keep from going over there to grab them, take them to In and Out and find out: How is Chico? Highschool? and Middle school?
Hi Dave and Jen,
ReplyDeleteWe'd pay the $49.95 for all your TEQ research,
no prob! Our hearts are full of love and prayers for you. May you find joy in waking up every morning even though you are so ready to be home. Your thankful attitude humbles & inspires me and I wish I could be there with you.
Love, Janet
Hey guys,
ReplyDeleteYour kids were so great in church. I "warned" them that I was going to give the update. They said that was good so that everyone wouldn't be constantly asking them. As I watched Emily go up for communion I couldn't help but note how much she reminds me of you, Jen. God's best to you and may the TEQ only lessen!
wow dad. you guys are pretty hysterical. i only skimmed over the TEQ paragraph wanting to avoid reading medical jargon and then realized how funny your ratio was! yes i do agree less tubes=happier mommy.
ReplyDeleteHi Friends,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are making the best of not so ideal situation. Dave, I always knew you were a really smart guy but who knew you were such a comedian too. And such an articulate one.:) I am glad to hear that you are making good progress Jen and can't wait till you can get yourselves home. You have been in my prayers and thoughts just about every minute. Just keep pushing forward babe. I Love You! xoxo Tiff
Glad to read the update. Continuing to hold Jen in prayer!
ReplyDeletesue
Wow, Dave. You're quite the gifted writer ! Glad to hear things are going well. Two Psalms that have meant a lot to us are Psalm 40 and 34. I hope that you and Jen can read through these together, and be blessed and encouraged.
ReplyDeleteMy turn (evalerie)- I'm so glad I finally got a hold of Em to find out how you guys are doing. Even though I didn't know the details, I kept praying and had so much peace that our Heavenly Father was taking care of Jen. We'll continue to lift you up in prayer. Love you guys!
I can just see you putting the TEQ abstract together!!! Brilliant. See you both soon, Dave, thank you so much for these updates. I can't wait to get up and read them each day and hear of Jen's progress. It looks like Emily is amazing as the big sister at home, the kids were lovely in church (of course you knew that). All our love. Lori
ReplyDeleteDave and Jen,
ReplyDeleteTEQ--wow, when did you go through medschool, Dave? I'm going to tell my medical colleagues about it. You 2 find humor in any situation. I continue to pray for your speedy recovery. Getting that NG tube out---what a huge step!!! It's so great to hear how things are going. Thanks again for this blog, Dave. Jen, imagine holding my luscious baby-smelling 5 month old when you get back!! Love you both,
Tonja